One time, I was asked: how can it be possible to transmute pain into poetry?
I was stupefied by the question.
But it made me conceive.
How can one write such good poetry out of torment?
I have already found the answer to this question.
By the time of affliction and anguish of my affection,
I knew then that pens and papers are the only release I can ever manage.
I knew then that I cannot hurt back the person who inflicted me such pain.
And that for the life of me, I can just write until I am hurting no more.
To turn the man into a poetry while I am making myself believe that he merits it.
To be a writer of our love until the end of our story.
You only need one man to love you. But him to love you free like a wildfire, crazy like the moon, always like tomorrow, sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. Only one man and all of this.
I just borrowed the quotes from goodreads.
I love that you talk to me about your disappointment and pain. I love it when you share me the things that hurts you and you close your eyes in my loving arms, cuddled like you need protection. There’s nothing like our love for each other. I love you when your sad. I love you when you’re happy. I love you all the time. I am giving you my kisses and hugs while I write and close this.
I am dating an alpha male who isn’t ashamed of showing weaknesses.
Today, I have loved you for 555 days.
I am sorry, it took me a while to figure that out. But yes. I have loved you since Summer of 2013. That was our birthday.
That was after we walked hand in hand by the beach in a moonlit sky. When we sat on a big rock looking at the horizon, hearing only our voices and the serene brutality of the ocean at night.
That was after we laughed at my craziness because I was so scared I won’t let go of your hand. That was after we ate dirty left overs and felt sorry we didn’t eat on time. That was after we slept together in a small tent and we just slept. That’s when I knew I can trust you.
Hun asked me a question yesterday and I didn’t know the answer. So I was going home yesterday and thought about it. This is still not the answer to his question because he was asking me when did we become official. And gosh, who knew?
I’m not sentimental–I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know,
is that the sentimental person thinks things will last–the romantic
person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise
I was so busy and pre-occupied lately, I haven’t been able to update my blog.
Here’s the thing.. I lost my job for three long years last week and I was so busy enjoying the days I call Alarm-Free days. I was always out with some friends and now it’s Monday. How time flies. I have to look for another job I will keep until the company will never want me again for the reason I won’t accept for the life of me.
I am just glad that my friends won’t leave me and they are very supportive. I actually forgot about my love life for the time being but hey, we are still ok. I can’t wait until it’s Thursday again and we’ll be together again until Sunday.
I am at Starbucks waiting for my Two Friends. We’ll have discipleship meeting first and then they’ll drop me off to the new office I hope I will belong. Pray for me peeps.
Go as far as your mind can go.
Now, I feel like I’m next to you.
If it is as easy as that, I no longer need to be sad when I miss you.
Here I am, wide awake. Awakened by the idea of losing you in the process. At times like this, I only wish to say things I wasn’t able to say when I had a chance. Had I known there wouldn’t be any chance to tell you, I would’ve said it. I would’ve told you but my heart was shattered long before I could speak. My heart’s lost to you. I could not believe I am still drawn to you like you never had me broken. This is the downside of things…
…when you love and you’re blinded with the idea of love.
Nothing hurts like watching our relationship fall apart. There was no apparent reason how it all began. It’s like clouds in the sky. I see it moving, but I cannot have a taste of it. I will quit pretending right now. I am not ok.